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The Day Liberalism Died
05.19.05 (9:27 am)   [edit]

Nicole Kidman in DogvilleThe movie is fantastic and moving.  Von Trier exposes the heart of modern America and then reflects it to our eyes to see its gory simplicity, and yet awe inspiring complexity of an inner system.  Using the stark sets that echo modern American plays, such as Our Town, Long Day's Journey into Night, or Death of a Salesman, hits and speaks to the feeling of those drama's dealing with a steam-roller of change that was going on during the great depression.  Once again, in Von Trier’s movie, a woman is taken advantage of in the form of Grace (Nicole Kidman), by meek men and ignored by self-absorbed women.  But unlike the other women in his thematic oeuvre (which also includes movies such as Breaking the Waves, and Dancer in the Dark) Grace get her piece of justice - or does she?  Like always there is a metaphysical quality to von Trier movies and the sake of Grace's mindset could be the real and ultimate victim, her spirit.  Yes she is taken advantage of, and raped, and given contempt for her kindness, but she can see past all this pain and rationalize that these people merely are acting out their frustration and suffering without knowing how they are hurting her as well as themselves.  But the people of Dogville are either blinded by their pain or guilt and won't admit their wrong.  This debate of redemption for the most heinous of crimes, rehabilitation of the criminal, carnal animal begins and ends with Grace’s reunion with her estranged "eye-for-an-eye" father/gangster.  She wants to use her father's power to change the world for the better.  She wants to rehabilitate them, but as she surveys the now cowering town in the face of her powerful father, she knows that these people were beyond redemption.  Her ideals become dreams that blur away from being and all is left is the empty hole inside her where she was raped, it needs satisfaction and thus she sets out to feed it.  The question is, "If Grace endured the pain, humiliation, and rape by these people, and part of her was willing to forgive, what would trigger a reversal of that desire?  Carnal satisfaction of revenge?  An over powering sense of brutal justice that is more humane - according to her father?  Or is it just nature - to destroy The Big Man (James Caan) brings the lynch pin to the argument of crime and punishment versus Grace's nurturing humanity.the weak for the sake of the strong?  Like I said it’s very metaphysical.  Unfortunately there is a lot of pain and humiliation that builds (2 hours) to get to the maybe 30 minutes of actual meat of the metaphysical argument.  This movie does however lend itself as a powerful generator of debate about the nature of a liberal-humanism attitude or the more corporate culture neo-conservative paradigm that divides this country today.  Feminism vs machismo, ying vs yang, right vs left.  How does this really matter to one's humanity and living life?  That’s the real development of the movie that will keep you enthralled well after the credits roll.

Hazy Malaise
04.28.05 (12:00 pm)   [edit]

A Day like this....Today nothing is happening.  My mind refuses to go beyond itself and wants to stay that way.  I don’t want to interact with people I don’t want to care.  I don’t want to do my job.  All I want to do is sit outside and listen to the wind, birds, and water.  I want to feel my hair loose it’s part and I want to hear the white noise of air over trees.  I want to feel the heat come off a rock that’s under the sun, and I want the slow fade of light and shadow as clouds dance across the sky.  I have a madness today that freezes my hands from fingering files, or listening to instructions of how to process checks for investments.  I have a sickness that causes me to retard my posture and expose my belly from my ridged uniform of vest, shirt, and tie.  I dare toWhere I'd rather be lookout-side, to dream of walking away.  I say my thoughts loudly, ask my co-workers if they too are afflicted by this madness, and they all say "yes," but do nothing to cure it.  Only allowing the abuse to continue and become numb.  To let the madness die of starvation and not to feed it.  I crave the air; the feel of grass under my feet, my skin perspires like a salivating tongue at the thought of being let loose to the sun and water that lavishes the objects of trees, rocks, and rivers.  I feel like I’m missing something and what I am missing is absence of responsibility and how I crave it!

2005 Movies You Won't See
04.27.05 (7:40 pm)   [edit]

I love IMDB (Internet Movie Database) and I was looking over future projects from David Boreanaz of Angel fame.  Turns out he will be playing the villain in the latest installment of the Crow movie series The Crow: Wicked City with Edward Furlong (Terminator 2, Pet Cemetery 2).  Well this post on the message board sarcastically listed the best movies thus far for 2005, which were Elektra, Guess Who, Ice Princess, Sahara, and King's Ransom.  Now understand that IMDB can have some very snobby film lovers and no one really believes these films were made for Oscar attention, they are just fun movies.  But some people need to make film an institution - probably because of all the money involved in making of them and the revenue generated.  Anyway I took this joke one step further and did a satire mock write up of these films as Oscar worthy films.  Most of my stuff goes into meaningless academic drabble, but that’s part of the comedy.  I like this kind of comedy and I'd like to share this with you.

Looking through these fine films of artistic merit one can only say that Hollywood is no longer digging the bottom of the barrel when it comes to making movies that inspire and breed genius. This year 2005 will be the most rewarding period of film for not only us but generations down the way. The Best picture picks alone could be analyzed and debated from NYU to AFI; from Noam Chomsky to Leonard Maltin.

ELEKTRA, the feminist discourse on the role of female protagonists in the death and rebirth process as predicated in Joseph Campbell's Garner brings depth to the feminist heroine Elektradiscourse of the role of the hero in classic literature. Jennifer Garner gives a breath-taking performance as the corrupted assassin who struggles with the implementation of mind control by a patriarchal society into executing their sexual allure while subverting the vagina-venttata.

GUESS WHO, a fascinating film that delves into the deeper recess of race relations and the battle for Bell Hooks Shakes Vagina in Angersupremacy over the female of the species. Who does own black, sexy women? White, young men or older, tubby black men? The possession construct of the black female body as commodity satirized by the sharp wit of Bernie Mac underlines the basic thought of most black supremacist theory which is control of the African gene pool and culture by keeping the black female body out of the hands of white men. Where as Ashton Kutcher plays the role of sardonic and practical white male "right-to-bare-black-woman's fertility" to diversity the already weaken, inbred gene-pool and the right to survival mentality that white men have used to instigate rape among black female women.

ICE PRINCESS: Again we see the plight of commercial sports exploitation of female athletes in order to fill not only the demands of the Will the demands on the Ice Princess destroy the fledgling Monarchy?commercial ad revenue and television broadcasting time, but with community civic centers across the globe. How does one ice skating athlete balance the hedging destructive powers of corporate demands against the fledgling small city ice skating rinks desire to put much needed cash into the town treasury for schools, roads, and social programs and still institute a democratic-monarchy in the process? Michelle Trackenburg embodies this socially conscious athlete as she struggles with the demands placed on her from above and below the poverty belt.

SAHARA, what better example of post colonial American foreign policy do we need than this. American Celebrate the Crushing of yet another Desert culture.Matthew McConaughey embodies the spirit of American imperialism as he brashly ignores international laws and implements his own form of policy among indigenous people of sovereign nations by means of violence and hardship to the very social structure of the people he invades. This film is an endlessly intriguing dialogue about the facets of American international politics and the pursuit of money in a free-trade society devoid of socialist rhetoric.

And finally

KING'S RANSOM a take on a hypothetical world about a black man who is wealthy beyond any average person’s means and becomes kidnapped by The Fantasy drama of possible race warsimpoverished white men. This is yet another discourse on race relations that flirts with ideas for and against race warfare in the media and cultural standards. The surprise in this movie comes from the keen acting skills of Jay Mohr who embodies the anger and injustice of the white man in this world where black has become white. Look for the very interesting exchange in the latter half of the movie between Mohr and Anderson as they discuss the ramifications of the uses of crack being sold in Beverly Hills by the black panthers, rather than the CIA selling in Compton.

All in all I could go on about these nominees and will in my up comming book "Oscar 2005 - the Movies You Didn't See."

Sneeky Debit Cards
04.26.05 (8:06 am)   [edit]

You never think about it.  You go to the store you buy your groceries, and slide that card through and it comes up "credit or debit?" What do you choose?  Why are you choosing between two seemingly similar words?  If you debit, you are removing money from your account, if you’re crediting, you applying a negative amount to your checking which will ultimately remove money from your account.  One just seems to utilize basic algebra rather than basic math.  But there is something that happens that is different between the two, its just not apparent.  Now I'm not going to get into corporate conspiracies, or about “sticking it to the man.”  I'm really doing this for myself and others with similar predicaments.  But debit comes with a fee; a fee that isn't recorded on your grocery receipt.  It’s a fee you carry in your head until you record the purchase in your check book and add they mysterious fee to the charge yourself.  But why charge a fee that has no record or effect until your monthly statement?  Because debit at the grocery, pharmacy, gas station - where ever - comes with the option of getting cash back.  This in turn makes the cashier into an ATM which is not owned by the bank, thus a service fee is applied by the bank at the end of the month.  Screwy ain't it.  Credit does not give you the option to get cash back; you have to buy exactly what’s there nothing extra, not even a penny.  In exchange you get no service fees.  Icky gross.  I just got off the phone with my bank and they happily explained the difference and thus my lesson is learned.  They reversed the charges in good faith and subsequently all the bounced charges switched as well.  So now I'm in good standing, but I swear this is the second surprise I got in the past two weeks.  They don't teach this in high school and the lesson is costly if it goes uncorrected.  So my mantra is for now on - Only Credit

Weekend Recap
04.25.05 (10:16 am)   [edit]

Weekend came and went.  As we know, Friday was a disaster as my cousin/roommate decided to blow up over the silliest thing but it was really a thinly veiled attempt to talk about money.  Saturday was apology day and she indicated that I was acting nonchalant and unapologetic about the whole ordeal, the reason being that there was nothing to apologize for and it wasn't a big deal - at least not worthy of the depressingly energy suck she brought into the car that night.  So I take her to work Saturday morning and go back to sleep to wake up in time to pick her up again from work and take her home.  Quiet not much was said - but there was talking.  However she was having her Bo over and thus psycho-cleaning came.  I held out as long as I could but eventually I hid in my room.  It’s for the best I suppose.  I then waited up-stairs, slept, played GITS: SAC, read Wizard Magazine and her Bo finally arrived.  He ended up taking her to the gym so she could meet up with her gal pal, and when they left I emerged from my room, ran down to the King got the tasty and creepy Tender Bacon Cheddar Crisp sandwich, got back flipped on the TV and planted myself there all night.  Nick then came by and we watched "Shaun of the Dead" HILLARIOUS this was a great movie and had an interesting message about living life responsibly and irresponsibly.  I watched "Pollack" alone, it was okay, but I feel it wasn't enamored with the subject I felt distant from the figure of Jackson Pollack unlike "Basquiat" were you were so inside the figure's thoughts and being in the life of 1980's art society.  Pollack lacked that intimate dimension and that disappointed me a bit.  Sunday I went down to visit friends where we watched the first episode of Queer as Folk season 4 - we have to wait for DVD version to watch it none of us have cable.  It was good; everything is still messy as it was at the end of season 3.  In fact this season seem to pick up right off where last season left off.  Then we went to eat and came back and watch a couple of episodes of Fruits Basket - a silly, cutesy Anime that’s too cute for my blood.  I got home went to bed.  All and all uneventful, nothing inspiring weekend.  C'est la vie, C'est la amor. 

The Anger generated by waiting
04.22.05 (4:29 pm)   [edit]

It’s a rumble in the back of your brain.  Your ego is a brewing cloud as it grumbles at the insolence of it all.  I shouldn't have to wait.  I shouldn't be treated so lightly.  I deserve better.  Who is so and so for making me wait?  It can cut both ways.  I am normally on-time guy, cutting out of work early to get to where-ever my cousin is just to get her to her work on time, I then make up the hours later.  Everyone is cool with giving me that flexibility.  So I do this today.  I arrive on time, everything is normal.  "Can you take me to the grocery store before we go home?"  "Sure, absolutely, in fact I need to do some shopping myself."  Win-Win situation.  She takes longer to shop for few things than I, this is normal, this is expected.  I buy my groceries, bumping into her once in the pasta isle.  I don't see her again.  I check out put my groceries in the cart and take them out to the car, into the trunk, and sit in the car listen to the radio waiting for her to get done - I am fine with this I expect her to take her time, no problems.  She comes out and acts very put out as if I had ruin her day, but in a lovely passive aggressive way which is a lot of kidding and asking questions as if I dropped out of the sky and was new to this world.  "You came out to the car?  Why did you do that?"  "I just did I felt like it."  "You've never done that before?  I was in there looking for you for 20 minutes."  "I'm sorry do you need to be someplace right now?"  "No, but its just weird.  You normally sit out on the bench"  "Well the bench was full of other people waiting, so I figured I'd just wait in the car no big deal."  "Yeah but we could have been gone 20 minutes ago."  You can tell where this is going.  I let her yell, vent, talk about how wretched of a person I was for not being 4 paces behind her and at the very least telling her that I would be waiting in the car.  Oh yeah something about what if she had finished first, what would have happened?  Yes she would not have access to the car, because I have the keys.  Would I have given her the keys if she found me and ask for them yes, but I finish first I always do and I didn't feel this was a reason for yelling and making me feel bad.  I asked her if this is part of a larger context because it was a lot of anger for a miscommunication.  She said no, but in her rant she began to play accountant talking about the expenses for gas, rent, etc etc.  So I asked her if it’s about money, she says no.  I say are you sure because you just started talking money, no she replies.  Then we stop for gas and she doesn't say a word and she sucks down her cancer stick and sips on her diet soda - the irony of health and sickness wrapped in the same mouth.  Should I feel bad?  IF I'm doing something wrong bring it to my attention I will work on it, but dropping hints making vague hurtful remark and being emotional distraught and making me the focus is unacceptable.  Now my ego is storming over the insolence of that.  I think my case is far more worthy of flying off the handle than her being a moron and not putting two and two together.  But I try and remain calm, I invite the criticism, but she never takes it and mutters I'm tired.  To that all I can say, me too.

Help me find the real Chinese Ghost Story
04.21.05 (7:42 am)   [edit]

Yesterday I watched Chinese Ghost Story part III.  I’ve watch all of them over the past month or so.  It is definitely a fun film set, that isn’t meant for deep meaning, but there is deeper – as is true for any piece of art.  The story is always about a bumbling man (in the previous two it was the same character played by Leslie Chung) an elder wise-man and a female (in the first and third it was a ghost, the second it was a human re-incarnation of the previous film’s ghost) and a young competent warrior-type.  All the stories are similar as they get lured to Orchid Temple, and monsters come out of the darkness in cheesy Styrofoam glory.  But this is not a review of the film it’s a cry for help.  I know there is a more serious, scarier version of these films, and I perhaps mixed the titles up.  All I remember is a woman in red robes, sitting on a wood floor and red flowing-silk drapes (a la Hero) in the background.  We see her from the side and she faces the left side of the screen.  Suddenly a tongue launches out from her mouth, and the feeling of horror washes over me.  This has something to do with Howard the Duck as the big bad had a similar nerve fraying scene.  I seek to see this movie because of the simple composition of the scene was striking and yet the horrific action of a long monstrous tongue from a seemingly peaceful and stoic face created real dread in me.  There might be something more deeper inside me about monster long tongues and the feeling of fear – some people its blood, other’s its internal organs, me its really long tongues.  The Chinese Ghost Story tongue was more funny and ridiculous than terrifying.  I’m looking for that one that made me turn away from the screen.

Good Deal?
04.20.05 (3:37 pm)   [edit]

I am now an official employee of the credit union, they bought out my contract with my temp agency and now I start on their pay-roll, sounds good right?  Well let’s see.  I have no idea what I make as far as a wage is concern.  They want me to pick out a health plan, contribution to my 401k and pension, but the way I budget my money I use every red cent I get from my pay check.  Can I afford all these new expenses?  I use to get paid on a weekly basis.  Now I’ll get paid bi-weekly.  They won’t deposit my check to my bank account, only to one of their accounts, so I now have checking and savings at two institutions.  I have no idea if I’ll be able to set my schedule because I may have to clock in/out at the CU’s clocks, instead of recording my time at the end of the week. (This is intricate to my ability to help my cousin in getting her to and from work.)  It seems I’m loosing a lot of control just to make sure I have health, dental, 401, and pension.  Is it’s a good deal or am I getting locked into something that won’t allow my to have the money I make and the freedom to set my time like I want? 

04.19.05 (4:40 am)   [edit]
Yesterday was an “eh” day.  I was down because I started my day forgetting my badge for work, my lunch, which caused me to go into my rent money, which in turn went into my savings, in order to get breakfast and lunch, then I do my work - or bogging - and end my work day, I fly off to pick up my cousin from her job, but she was in a meeting - and I had to get her to her group after that, but we were late.  I looked up my checking (not savings) account and saw that I was at -$43.00.  This is impossible.  And it looked as if they charged me 2 service fees of $23.00 for insufficient funds, even though the first charge had enough funds to cover, and then another charge went through causing yet another “service” charge, so now I have to call them up and deal with them this morning.  But I was just mad all day.  When I got home, after picking up my cousin from group, I went to sleep.  So from 7 to 12 I was dead asleep and woke up to hear Nick pull up for his nightly visit on his way home from work.  We talked for like an hour and a half about comic books.  Then he was off home.  I won't see him tonight as he is going to be doing inventory at work all night tomorrow.  But have you notice I fixed the images on my left column???  Apparently I switched the "r" and the "c" in the html command of "img src" I had it "img scr".  So now you can see the pretty pictures of the various media I'm consuming.  But to sum up - Mondays BAD - Banks BAD - Naps Good - Getting ready to blast your bank for unfounded charges to your checking account PRICELESS!

Movie Review - Closer on Dvd
04.18.05 (6:20 am)   [edit]

CloserRiveting, hypnotizing, a metaphor for a car wreck, etc. etc., etc.  Okay the movie is good, seriously good.  I was yelling at the screen.  I even gave the movie the silent treatment to teach it a lesson.  Alas, pixilated light suspended in a cathode tube do not care whether I yell or not at the screen.  I however cared about these people as people, but would never make any of them my friends.  The triumph of this film is the acting.  The dialogue, written by Patrick Marber, came across very real not contrived or overly dramatic.  And what they were saying could only be found in penthouse letters, but in real context.  The only thing over the top is how controlled by emotions these people seem to be and no fore-thought as to censoring what they say.  It’s all cathartic and primal.  Wanting to know positions, acts, and thoughts during that act of sexual coupling - of which there are no visuals, it’s all in the dialogue.  However the movie seems to suffer from a kind of narcolepsy.  In certain cuts, you are fast forward in time and at first you’re unsure if you've gone forward of backwards.  Luckily after the second such cut you realize the movie is progressive with no flash backs.  Thus everything is within context with the previous scene. 

Jude Law and Natalie Portman in CloserMike Nichols utilizes London scenery masterfully with its grand open places (like Central London) to its intimate places such as alleyways and memorial parks.  He also handles his actors well.  There is a point where Natalie Portman seems to pick up some of Julia Robert's acting quirks, but this might be similar styles or synergy of the two actresses - It's just such a joy to see her act again after her impression of a robot in Star Wars movies.  Jude Law plays a schizophrenic: charming everyday guy to monstrous, tortured artist-type that could rival Van Gogh in self-loathing.  Clive Owen has a smarmy, gnashing-tooth anger about him that gives him an air of danger.  But in the end you feel dismantled by the fact that these people never should be in a relationship if they can't control their impulses.  And then you realize that these impulses are not only theirs but yours – you just haven’t acted on them - yet.  The Dvd is really just the movie - no special features, no hidden eggs, or deleted scenes - but really if your renting this movie for that then your really not watching the movie.   

Weekend Recap
04.18.05 (5:11 am)   [edit]

The weekend has come and gone.  And I did absolutely nothing this Saturday and it was great.  All I did was read, play video games, flip through TV, and just be with myself.  I slept till forever, got up, had a sandwich, and played Ghost in the Shell on my PS2 - I got past a part I had been stuck on.  I the beauty of one of the boards that takes place at a Dam, I forget the name of the place right now, was striking.  The scenery and the very heavy synth music at the beginning was surreal; very atmospheric.  Later that night me and Nick watched Closer by Mike Nichols, based off of Patrick Marber play.  That was good and yet disturbing.  I'll write a review in a separate post.  But I think I'll give it 4 out of 5.  It is very frustrating to watch these people in their pain either by their own design or from others.  And Clive Owen it struck me that he and Alan Rickman have a similar style or accent or something.  And I'm not saying British; I'm saying in the tenor of their voice as well as holding on certain vowels and the sharpness of their consonants.  I wonder if they come from the same area or school.  Anyway Sunday was chore day, do the dishes, laundry, making my lunches for the week, and ironing, tidying up the bedroom, or just keeping the floor clean.  I reread my latest issue of Ultimate X Men, I was trying to figure out if they were bringing back a dead character - which would have angered me.  Then Nick and I went out to have dinner and play pool with friends in New Paltz.  We went to the Gilded Otter and had way too much food.  Then walked from their to the pool hall.  It was fun; I wasn't in the moment though because I think it was spending money, I was trying to save, on dinner - even if my share was only 20 bucks, its still 20 bucks I could have used later in my quest to buy a car.  But a good time was had by all and I think that was important.  After that it was back home to finish laundry and watch more of season 5 Angel - Fred bit the big one and thus enters Illyria.  (FUN FACT - Illyria is an actual name that is designated to the western area of the Balkin Peninsula and describes an ancient culture that existed near the end of the Bronze Age.)  After that it was to bed.  This morning however was troubling.  I forgot my badge, and my lunch for work.  I was ten minutes late and I can't find my recite from grocery shopping on Friday and so I can not deduct it from my checking book.  I think I need to regroup to prevent my day from deteriorating.  Oh well I forget stuff, that’s life.

Authentic Writer's Workshop
04.15.05 (7:31 am)   [edit]

Yesterday, after work, I attended a writer's workshop that was being offered by Barnes and Noble and Authentic Writing Workshop.  I struck up a friendly conversation with one of the attendees and she informed me that I was lucky to be here tonight for a "free" session, as this particular Writer's Group charges for workshops.  Free workshop, huh?  I guess I was lucky.  The stars seem to align themselves to allow me the time to do this.  My cousin wasn't reliant on me to drive her anywhere, as she had the day off from work and her mother was up for a visit so she could driver around.  I was a little late leaving work, but managed to get to the meeting with 10 to spare, that included some very bad fast food to tide me over.  The workshop was mainly two writers introducing themselves, talking about what they do and their group's philosophy, which isn't about fiction but about memoir or autobiography.  They continued to say that fiction was interesting but it lacked the power of honest memoir writing.  One of the two leads related this to a modern theological theory about inauthentic objects and ways as being sinful.  I must say I was taken aback.  It seemed a hard line to draw, because authenticity can be subjective.  There is of course empirical evidence you can bring to prove something, but dealing with personal issues like faith, visions, dreams, memories, and emotions how authentic can these thing be really and if these are pools from which the writer draws can anyone manufacture authentic writing?  

I have many editors in my head.  Every time I write they are sentences ahead of me reading, screening, looking forward to then next sentence.  I write what passes through them, and it is just a rough draft - and believe me it’s rough with spelling and grammar mishaps.  And then eventually I stop, while the editors in my head have meetings about what I just wrote. (Will this plot point hold?  How do we make this believable?  Does this character seem cheesy to you?  I don't like that conversation back there.  This was a great plot point.  That was subtle; why not do more of that. Etc.)  And that’s a sample of what’s going on.  At the workshop we did an exercise that was a free write on the word entanglement.  What kind of story comes out of this?  I immediately thought of vines.  I then thought of a jungle, struggle, escape, etc.  I began to write the narrative.  It was heavy on description, no dialogue, but as I was writing I began to try and drop hints of a large story, about a war and mission objectives, Congo or Angola Civil War, for my entangled character - but his desire to loose the responsibility for it all; to surrender to the webbing of life inside the jungle and expire in its muggy heat.  Everyone else reached into an actual event in their lives.  I came up with complete fiction.  Even though one could analyze my piece as being a metaphor for my own struggles, there was no attempt on my part to be personal.  I let the word and its many contexts bring me here.  I won't deny its personal implications, but I was "sinning" very willingly with my piece.  I think that’s why sinners have much more fun.

The Beginning
04.14.05 (9:58 am)   [edit]

Today is the 14th of April.  I work at a Credit Union (heaven forbid I say Bank) and that means many people coming in to do their banking before their tax deadline of midnight tonight or more accurately at 7:00pm tonight (when the banks and post offices close).  After that everyone is left high and dry, except for those who don't have to pay taxes - which are poor people (who probably don't have an account to deal with) or very rich people (who are not credit union members).  I'm here writing my blog.  I can't tell you how weird this position is for me.  It’s a curse and a blessing at the same time.  In all actuality it shows me how the other half lives (business lunches, travel, board meetings, and sales meetings - a lot of meetings) and then a sort of quiet busy time.  A lot of this job is cerebral and that’s definitely my strength.  But what does the significance of launching a blog on the last day of Tax season mean?  Nothing really.  I am one of the poor, just starting to climb out of poverty, so I have no stress of filing.  But next year maybe a different story for me.  I guess it’s a symbol of fiscal end and renewal, which is what I'm hoping this year is about.  Money is in this world to stay and it must be handled, but not in a way that it is the most important.  Time is most important, because it encompasses all - Money, Love, Hate, Ego, Anarchy, and Giving.  Time is a currency we all have, it’s in the ether, its something we all posses, and it’s something we can give or keep.  That is far more important and empowering than money.